Jesus in a Camper Van
by Oro
Summary: "I suppose even the son of God gets it hard sometimes..." Sequel to Chad.


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Jesus in a Camper Van

Written by: Oro

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Category: General, Dana/Casey, Jeremy/Natalie

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Sequel to Chad

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Rating: PG

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Disclaimer: Jesus in a Camper Van belongs to the cute-ass (and filthy rich) Robbie Williams. And Sports Night, along with its characters belongs to Aaron Sorkin. Alright?

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Author's notes: Winged presidents and their secret (also winged) gay lovers. Hurrah! Stories like this make me wonder whether or not these people actually get any work done. Not that I give a damn, really, it just makes me wonder. Which is odd, since I'm the one who wrote the story. Hmm. Also, I cannot BELIEVE I did that to Jeremy. But those were different times, I was a different person, it meant nothing to me and quite honestly, I already did worse things to him than that. ::grins::

**FEEDBACK**

* * * * *

She had always been a little bit too affectionate with him. Even when he was off the market and married to someone else. She'd always have a special smile for him and he'd always have one for her. That's the way it's always been, ever since she could remember. But now, at least for her, things have changed. She needed more than the occasional grin or word from him. She needed him, in more than one way. She needed Casey.

And the need felt like such a burden when she woke up in the morning. The last thing she felt she needed when she woke up was to deal with her feelings, or even have them. She realized that, despite how desperately she wanted to go back to being ignorant about them, she couldn't. She decided not to think about it, and so she popped the tape of the previous night's broadcast into her VCR. She couldn't believe she managed to postpone the event to that point, really. She realized she was right to do so, as Robbie Williams' face sneaked into segment 20. She sighed, knowing she'd have to yell at someone when she gets to work, and she wasn't in the mood to do so.

* * * * *

"Natalie!" Dana shouted, even before going into her own office.

"Good morning, Dana," Natalie said, trying to stick to Dana's fast pace.

"Natalie, let me ask you something."

"Yes?"

"Did Robbie Williams embark on a golf career? Or basketball, possibly?"

"Oh," Natalie frowned, "that. It was Kim's fault."

"You were in charge, Natalie."

"I know, and I did manage to trace most of it…"

"But not all of it." Dana cut in her sentence.

"No, not all of it." Natalie sighed. "I did schedule a punishment for Kim, though."

"Will it involve Kim lacking pants, Nat?"

"Not so much." Relied Natalie.

"Good; I imagine that having a different effect when involving Kim." Dana paused. "Anything else I need to know?" She asked as they reached her office.

"Why did you break up with Chad, Dana?" Natalie asked, looking directly at Dana.

"Natalie…" Dana sighed, leaning against the doorframe.

"Is it because you're secretly in love with Casey?"

"I haven't even had my morning coffee, Natalie."

"Sure you did… at home."

"I didn't have the office-morning-coffee, then."

"Is it, though?"

"No," said Dana, "now, scoot."

Natalie just looked at her for a few moments. "Right," she said, then walked away.

* * * * *

"Dan…" Casey started, then paused. "What is it that you're doing?"

"I," replied Dan, "am making a sandwich."

"I can see that. Why are you making a sandwich?"

"Because… Casey… can't you go do something that is not harassing me?"

"No, I like this just fine."

Dan sighed. "I am making a sandwich because I am hungry. Alright?"

"Really?"

"Yep."

"You're not making a sandwich because Dana and Chad broke up?"

"No, I'm pretty sure it's all due to the fact I am quite hungry."

"She wouldn't tell me why, Danny."

"Why what?"

"Danny." Casey said, "she wouldn't tell me."

"I would love to have a sandwich right about now." Dan sighed. "She let him go because she loves you." He said after a short pause.

"You think?"

"I think it's what you want me to say." Dan hopefully replied.

"Actually, that's what she said."

"What?"

"I don't know. Go, eat your sandwich."

* * * * *

"Ki-im…" Natalie said in a singsong voice, a frightening look on her face.

"Yes, Natalie?" Kim asked, as pleasantly as she could.

"'Tis time."

"'Tis time?"

"For me to give you your punishment."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"So early in the morning?"

"I feel refreshed after a good night's sleep."

"I'm happy for you, Natalie."

"Yes… refreshed, awake, up and about, ready to discuss my big plans for you."

"Why, though?"

"Because Dana's pissed at me and I'm pissed at you, and I'm sure the network will have something to say in the matter of Robbie Williams and his connection to basketball!" Natalie snapped. "Now," she said, returning to her more calm, eerie tone. "As for your punishment."

"Yes, Natalie?"

"After tonight's broadcast, you must…" Natalie made a thoughtful pause. "You must sing Jesus in a Camper Van while standing on a chair."

"Why Jesus in a Camper Van?"

"Because I like it."

"You do?"

"Yes."

"Jesus in A Camper Van."

"He said, sorry to leave you but I've done all I can…"

"Alright." Kim paused. "Is that all?"

"We'll see," Natalie grinned and walked away, knowing she's done something good, if not for the humiliation of Kim then for her very own personal entertainment. She'll think up a more creative addition to the punishment, she promised herself.

* * * * *

"Yo, Casey," Dan whispered as both men approached the coffee machine.

"Yo, Dan, my man."

"Ha, ha. Now pay attention."

"Paying attention."

"Good. Very good. See that woman?"

"The blonde?"

"No, the brunette."

"Oh yeah. I see her."

"Is she staring at me?"

"Possibly."

"I thought so. Hmm. Does she seem in any way dangerous or deranged to you?"

"Well, she _is_ staring at you."

"Funny, Casey. Ever thought of being a professional comedian?"

"I did, for a while there, and now I do sports. What's the difference?"

"Point taken."

"Hey hey," said Natalie, holding two cups of coffee in one hand.

"Natalie, did you see that woman standing over there about two minutes ago?" Asked Dan.

"You're going to have to be more specific."

"Brown hair, blue eyes. Had those funky stick thingies in her hair."

Natalie pondered for a moment. "Hmmm… chances are it's Laurie from research."

"And we've got a name!" Said Casey.

"Nat, did you know that Casey actually considered being a comedian?" Asked Dan, grinning.

"How is that different from his current career?" Natalie said, giving Dan a smile. She walked towards Jeremy, who was eavesdropping on their conversation as well as holding a suspicious looking envelope. "Whatcha got there, little fellow?" She raised her eyebrow suggestively.

"Uh…" Jeremy blushed, "nothing," he replied, suddenly taking great interest in his shoes.

"Yeah, right." Natalie said, carefully placing the coffee mugs on a nearby desk. "Jeremy…" She walked up to him, narrowing the space between them until there was almost none left, "Whatcha got in there?" She grinned sweetly.

"Eh… nothing, really." He chuckled nervously.

"You're right. It's your letter and I should respect your privacy."

"Damn straight you should."

"Okay then!" Natalie shouted, pulled Jeremy closer and kissed him, right there in the middle of the office. Jeremy's blush deepened and before he had the chance to react, Natalie grabbed the envelope. He tried catching it, but it was too late. She stared at the envelope for a few moments and then looked at Jeremy with amazement. "Okay… we're gonna have to talk about this."

* * * * *

Dana was sitting in her chair, letting her tired blue gaze travel over the magnificent view of the city below her office. She sighed at the thoughts that had been going trough her mind, one by one, in manner of winged presidents and their secret (also winged) gay lovers. One by one by one. Thoughts. Going through her mind. About Casey, and the things she needed to tell him at a point. Not yet, though; she felt she wasn't ready yet, which was basically her way of saying she was terrified of doing so. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sudden sound of someone entering her office. "Knocking, anyone?" She asked, turning around with her chair.

"Nah," said Dan. "Knocking is for wimps. Sissy boys. People that are weak."

"Yes, Dan?"

"I need thirty seconds on the ice skapiece."

"The ice skating piece."

"Yes, that one."

"You do understand that this is a sports show…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah..." Dan cut in the middle of her sentence.

"…And you are one of the people who should know these things and what they're actually called?"

"Am I?"

"Yep."

"Damn." Dan paused, "anyhow, I need thirty seconds on that."

"You've got 'em." Dana allowed herself a little smile.

"Thanks."

"Anything else?"

"Nope. Well. No. Yes."

"Does it have to do with sports, Daniel?"

"Not so much."

"Then I don't want to hear about it."

* * * * *

"Jeremy, this is pathetic." Said Natalie, who was watching Jeremy as he played the addictive game of Solitaire on his computer.

"It is not."

"It really is."

"I'm beating the odds!"

"No, you aren't."

"I am beating the odds."

"No."

"Beating. The odds."

"I think it's more like cheating at Solitaire."

"One might see it that way."

"You're cheating at Solitaire."

"And I'm not ashamed to admit it!"

"You were, a minute ago."

"I've taken up on a new strategy."

"The strategy of admitting you've cheated?"

"Yes."

"Because I'm on to you?"

"That might have a little to do with that, yes."

"You're pathetic."

"Am not."

"You're a cheater." Natalie said, pausing in order to pick up her papers and get up from her chair. "You're a cheater and a Posh Spice fan. I must go now. Work awaits." She smiled, resisting the urge to lean over and kiss him. She was busy thinking how adorable he was, when she realized she wasn't going. "Yeah. Alright."

Jeremy looked at her in an amused look as she rushed out of the room. He smiled to himself and got back to cheating at Solitaire.

* * * * *

Casey sat in his chair, trying to focus on his work, for a change. He listened as the door opened and Danny walked in; however, he chose to ignore him but instead, keep writing. He was just starting to enjoy doing that.

"Interesting newsflash, my dear friend."

"Mmhmm." Murmured Casey, still not looking up.

"Aren't you even a bit interested?"

"Not really."

"It's pretty good."

"I'm gonna find out anyway; there's no rush."

"You've got a point… well… I don't care. I'm gonna tell you **anyway**."

"Bastard."

"Very witty. Anyway. Sergei Fedorovwas arrested today."

"So?" Casey stopped typing in order to give Dan a 'what-is-it-you're-trying-to-say' look.

"He's been charged with double homicide – of his former girlfriend, Mary, and her pet llama, Wally."

"Why would he murder the llama, though?"

"I don't think he likes them much."

"The llama and the girlfriend?"

"No, just llamas."

"That doesn't really make sense."

"Maybe he killed her **because** she had a llama."

"That's an interesting point for investigation, Danny."

"Don't I know it!"

"I'm sure you do."

"Do you think he did it?"

"I don't know. He seems like a good guy."

"Yeah. They say he just wants love."

"All you need is love."

"Dun dun dun dun."

"'Dun dun dun dun' is definitely my all time favorite line in a Beatles song."

"Better than 'jai guru de va om'?"

"Definitely. It just… has more character, you know?"

"No, I don't, you big geek."

"You bore me." Said Casey, getting up.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm gonna go talk to my good friend Jeremy."

"Because you're both geeks?"

"No, because we both know we're cool and **you're** the geek."

"You and Jeremy are both cool and I'm the geek."

"Precisely, my dorky friend."

"I don't think so."

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that." Casey smiled nonchalantly and walked out, feeling cool and hip. This feeling of coolness lasted only until he saw Jeremy, who was sitting on a chair and reading a letter. He didn't seem very cool. "Hello, Jeremy."

"Uh, hey." Jeremy said, quickly hiding his letter.

"You got a letter."

"Yes, I did."

"Anything interesting?"

"No… not really."

"Dan doesn't think we're cool."

"Dan thinks soccer isn't cool."

"I'd say you're on to something."

"We, Casey, are the epitome of all that is cool."

"Yes!"

"Hey Jeremy!" Natalie's loud voice interrupted their conversation. "You reading your important Posh Spice Fanclub letter?"

* * * * *

"What'd you do that for?" Said Jeremy with a frown, after Casey decided he had to go 'do something about the Sergei Fedorov thing, uh, yeah, that' and left.

"I wanted you here alone." Natalie smiled.

"Why?"

"Because you're cute. And I'm cute. And we make a really good couple being, well, cute."

"Mmhmm."

"Jeremy… why didn't you tell me you were a Posh Spice fan? I mean… I'm your girlfriend. I'm not one of those insensitive –"

"She's hot."

"What?"

"She's hot."

"She's married."

"Doesn't make her any less hot."

"She isn't hot."

"Ever seen a picture of her?"

"I knew you were a guy, but I didn't know you had such bad taste. How long has this been going on?"

"It's been going on for quite a while now, actually."

"Oh really?"

"Yep. Since 1996, I believe."

"So what's wrong with **you**?"

"Nothing, actually."

"You've got issues. You've got serious, major issues. It actually makes me wonder what it says about me, seeing as I'm your girlfriend." Natalie said, making a thoughtful pause. "Oh God! What's wrong with meehee?" Natalie shook her head at the thought of dating a guy who thinks Victoria Beckham is hot. "I'm going to… you know… work on the Federov story. Yes. Federov. And that other guy, too. I'll… see you around."

* * * * *

Whenever he thought of her, Smoky was the first word that entered his mind. He'd look at her and talk to her, and his mind would shout 'Smoky! Smoky! Smoky!.' Not literally, but almost. It's been that way ever since he met her, even though his vocabulary had only expanded since college, and even though he's been through so much during those years. They both have. Smokey was the perfect word, in his mind, to describe Dana Whitaker. She was the one person he knew would always be there for him, and he truly appreciated knowing that. But lately, it seemed, he's been wanting more of their relationship. Which is why he was so anxious to know why Dana broke up with Chad.

* * * * *

The show went without a hitch. The show was absolutely perfect that night, with no special appearances by pop singers, British or otherwise. "Great show, everyone!" Dana shouted.

"You betcha!" Casey shouted back, then turned to Dan. "Dan, Danny, Dan-o."

"Yes, Casey."

"We should talk."

"Should we?"

"We never talk."

"We talk all the time."

"No, no… I don't think we do."

"Anything specific on your mind tonight?"

"Well, now that you mention it…"

"Yes?"

"I think," said Casey.

"I'm listening."

"I think I should go talk to Dana."

"What do you need Dana for? You've got me right here. We're talking, see?"

"No, I mean… I should go talk to her. Ask her out, that sort of thing."

"Ooh, really?"

"I think it's about time."

"Are you sure you're ready, Case? I mean, you've only known her for fifteen years…"

"I am… ready as I'll ever be." Replied Casey, ignoring Dan's sarcasm.

"So basically, you aren't ready."

"Not even a little bit."

"I wish you all the luck in the world, then."

"Thanks," Casey chuckled and got up to go talk to Dana.

"Casey," Dan shouted after him.

Casey stopped walking at the sound of his name, then turned around. "What?"

"Don't worry about it."

Casey looked at him for a moment, then turned back and continued walking towards Dana, a determined look on his face.

* * * * *

"Yo, Kim," Natalie said, tapping on Kim's shoulder. "It's show time!"

Kim looked nauseous. "Great… I'll be right there."

"You know, Kim, you don't look so good." Commented Elliot.

"Shut up."

"Alright."

Slowly, Kim got up to stand on her chair. Trying to get over her stage fright, she stabilized herself on the chair. This was definitely worse than the time she had to sing in the school play when she was in the 6th grade. Oddly enough, Kim only suffered from stage fright when it came to singing. She was fine with everything else, but singing really wasn't her area. "Yeah, um, alright." She cleared her throat, then slowly started singing. _"Ooh, we've got a live one, featherweight icon, heroes let him down so he sleeps with the light on and there's nothin' left to do but kneel down and pray, sail away with Caesar if you're a non believer, everybodyget high if you're a diamond geezer…"_

Natalie, as well as the rest of the staff, stood by and watched the wonder. Natalie was extremely satisfied with the creativity of her punishment, which brought smuch joy to the world and so much pain to Kim. In the corner of her eye, she saw Casey approach Dana, but didn't read much into it as she continued watching Kim's performance.

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"…It's the devil that needs ya, so go out and play…"

* * * * *

"Dana," Casey whispered when he got to her.

"What is it, Casey?" She whispered back.

"I was wondering…"

"Yes?"

__

"Blame yourself, it's easier, there's no need to trouble her, you trouble her…"

"Why did you break up with Chad?"

"Casey…"

"No, really. Why, Dana?"

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"Jesus in a camper van, he said sorry to leave you but I've done all I can, I suppose even the son of God gets it hard sometimes, especially when he goes around," Kim's voice echoed in the background_, "saying I AM THE WAY!"_

"Casey, really…" Dana said, desperately seeking a way out of that particular conversation.

"Would you like to go out with me?"

"What?" Dana couldn't hear his voice above Kim's now very loud singing.

__

"And now it's four in the morning, yes, yes y'all in, no one can shoot but everybody's scoring, trust me it's boring, get down and pray…"

"I said," Casey raised his voice, "would you like to go out with me?"

__

"They told you not to meddle with the bass and the treble, there's dust on your needle and you think that you're a rebel, you're Evil Kenievel, so get down and pray,"

It took 15 years for her to realize what he meant to her, although, when thinking about it, she's known that all along. When she looked at him, trying to figure out whether or not he said what she was pretty sure he said, she thought of everything that could've been if only he would've said it sooner. She put an end to these thoughts by the voice of reason -- she knew she shouldn't give a damn about could've been, because those thoughts belonged in the past the moment he asked her out.

"You want to go out with me?" She asked, her gaze fixed on his. "On a date?"

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"Blame yourself, it's easier, there's no need to trouble her, you trouble her…"

"I really do," Casey chuckled nervously.

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"Jesus in a camper van, he said sorry to leave you but I've done all I can, I suppose even the son of God gets it hard sometimes, especially when he goes around, saying I AM THE WAY!"

"Alright," Dana grinned, giving him one last look before returning to look at Kim, who was now clearly getting over her stage fright and embracing the attention.

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"I am the way! I am the way! I am the way! I am the way! I am! I am! I am! I am! I am! I AM THE WAY! _Jesus in a camper van, he said sorry to leave you but I've done all I can, I suppose even the son of God gets it hard sometimes,"_

Dana knew Casey was right behind her, watching her every expression. She didn't mind, although she did try to hide her embarrassingly huge grin at first. She also didn't mind when his hands wrapped around her waist, the scent of him suddenly surrounding her. It was actually rather pleasant, and she allowed herself to lean her head against his chest.

__

"Jesus in a camper van, he said sorry to leave you but I've done all I can, I suppose even the son of God gets it hard sometimes, blame yourself, it's easier, there's no need to trouble her… blame yourself, it's easier, there's no need to trouble her! Jesus in a camper van, he said sorry to leave you but I've done all I can, I suppose even the son of God gets it hard sometimes…"

As she finished the song, Kim wiped her forehead, taking a bow. "Thank you! Thank you!" She said, jumping off of the chair and walking straight over to Natalie, stopping only to be complimented or teased by her co-workers. "How'd I do?"

"You did great," Natalie grinned. "We'll discuss your paycheck tomorrow. Goodnight, Kim!"

Kim looked at Natalie, who quickly went to get her coat. "Damn," she muttered.

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FIN


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